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Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Day 42 and feeling low.
I am so hungry, I can hardly stand it. Part of me wants to just eat and not care about the consequences. The other half of me wants this fistula to heal and will do anything, even starve myself and go against my hunger cues, in order to repair my body. It's ironic, going against human nature to restore it. Food smells are everywhere, and it's getting harder to keep up hope. It was easier to keep trucking along when the trend of things was improving. Now, it just feels like a free-for-all. I'm just really, really hungry. This is TORTURE!